


Demons

by TheCurvedWritingDesk



Category: Midnight Poppy Land (Webcomic)
Genre: Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 06:00:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24220039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCurvedWritingDesk/pseuds/TheCurvedWritingDesk
Summary: Two men raised him, one girl saved him.
Relationships: Tora/Joe, Tora/Poppy, Tora/Vince
Comments: 19
Kudos: 73





	1. Vince

**Author's Note:**

> Welp. Today marks a week since I started writing. I'm having fun and I'm looking forward to my to do list for next week. ;P
> 
> This is my take on Tora's background based on the hints provided my Lilydusk in the comic (Ch 5, 18, 19)  
> This is a songfic and meant to be read while listening. 
> 
> Chapter 1 - Pain by ThreeDaysGrace  
> Chapter 2 - Animal I Have Become by ThreeDaysGrace  
> Chapter 3 - Dear X You Don't Own Me by Disciple

On his hands and knees, Tora was crying again, sobbing hard, desperate to catch his breath. He was sure Vince had broken a rib this time, his kick was already forming a red bruise among the various other blue, green, purple and black splotches that littered Tora’s body. He didn’t understand why Mr. Balthuman did this. He didn’t hurt Quincey, only him. Why did he hate him? Tora knew he was bad at school but he was always good at home. He did everything Mr.Balthuman told him to, he had learned not to talk back a long time ago. 

Pain without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

“Get up Tora, I don’t have time for weakling children.” Vince taunted him. Tora bawled his fists against the floor. He wasn’t a weakling and Vince knew it. Tora could take hits without flinching that would have had boys twice his size crying. 

“I’m not weak!” Tora screamed, climbing to his feet, wiping the tears away with the heels of his palms. He was channelling the pain now, the way Vince had taught him. As long as he raged it didn’t hurt as bad, adrenaline numbing it all. He turned to face Balthuman Sr. again, braced for the next injury. Tora never fought back. He saved that for school, taking out all his pain and misery like a rabid dog on the other children. He had tried once, only once. The beating Vince had given him had him off school for weeks recuperating. 

Instead of hitting him though, this time Vince clapped the boy on the shoulder. “Of course you’re not. Balthuman guard dogs are never weak, and you my boy. You’ll be my finest yet.” Vince ruffled the boy’s hair. He would be a demon dog indeed. The fire in his eyes showed great promise.

You're sick of feeling numb  
You're not the only one  
I'll take you by the hand  
And I'll show you a world that you can understand

Tora’s fists flew with all the fury he bottled up inside, landing only every other wild swing, the larger boy’s taunts falling on deaf ears. He was trying to take Tora’s strawberry juice. He wasn’t about to stand for that. No one took from him with the exception of Vince and Quincey, but, if Tora was being honest with himself, he would have gone looking for a fight if one hadn’t come to him first. Then, he was on his back, the larger boy finally landing a punch in return. Tora grinned, pain radiating across his cheek, there it was, his escape from the numbness that consumed him. When he stood up, the look in his eye had the larger boy backing away in fear. Tora knew he looked feral, he was a barely trained dog. At least that’s what Vince told him.

This life is filled with hurt  
When happiness doesn't work  
Trust me, and take my hand  
When the lights go out, you'll understand

That night, Tora sat alone in his cage, staring up through the grate at the sky above him. It was cold. He was alone, again. He needed to stop the fighting. He needed to behave. That’s what Mr. Balthuman had told him. Dogs needed to be trusted to behave whether their master was within seeing distance or not. Tora stared down at his hands, his knuckles molting bruises already. Vince didn’t understand. Tora couldn’t stop fighting, he needed the pain. The numb emptiness he felt inside was so much worse. 

Pain without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

The next morning Mr. Balthuman came to tell him he wasn’t going on vacation with him. Tora buried his face in his hands, feeling the sting of tears behind his eyes. Quincey had been telling him how much fun the beach was for weeks. Tora had been hopeful, excited, happily looking forward to it. “You’re going to stay in there till I get back from my vacation, as punishment, but before I leave…tell me, Tora boy. Are you scared of being down there on your own?”

“No, Mr. Balthuman, sir.” Tora muttered. He was so angry! Look at what he’d done. Why couldn’t he just hold it in? Bottle it up. 

Vince grinned wickedly down at the pup, “You’re not scared? Then why are you hiding your face? Are you crying?” He knew he was riling up the boy, interested to see his response.  
“I’M NOT SCARED!!” Tora roared back up at him, hands coming away from his face to grip his elbows, trying to anchor himself, “AND I’M NOT CRYING!” His tears were flowing freely now, dripping down his cheeks to land on his skinny arms. 

“Good! Because I have no use for cowardly children,” Mr. Balthuman reminded him for the thousandth time. “And if you try to escape again, you know what’ll happen to you.”  
Tora banged his head back against the concrete behind him, listening as Vince filled Quincey in on the change of plans. He tried to will the tears away, focusing on the pain. He was scared. He hated being alone in the dark. 

Pain without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Tora didn’t cry that night. He refused. He was angry. He liked the way it felt coursing through his veins. He was never going to get his hopes up again. He was never going to misbehave again. He would be the best Balthuman dog Vince had ever had. No one would ever hurt his feelings ever again.  
Anger and agony are better than misery

Trust me, I've got a plan  
When the lights go up, you'll understand

Years later, Tora was called into Vince’s office. An empty chair sat in the middle of the room. A large burly man with a tattoo gun was perched next to it. Mr. Balthuman clasped his upper arms. “Congratulations Tora my boy, it’s time for your collar.” Squaring his shoulders, Tora took his seat, tilting his head to the side. He had been prepared his whole life for this. He knew what it meant. It was finally official. Tora didn’t wince once throughout the entire tattoo. 

Pain without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Tora swung wildly, landing a punch for every few he received. He had been jumped by a rival gang, his collar visible to the whole world. He was everyone’s goddamn punching bag. Vince had branded him too young. Getting the shit kicked out of him was too common an occurrence, whether it was older members of his own gang trying to ‘toughen him up’ or rivals trying to prove how tough they were by attacking a Balthuman dog. 

Pain, without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd like to feel pain than nothing  
Rather feel pain

Vince welcomed him home with open arms every time. Telling him he was proud. Bringing him ice packs and clapping him on the shoulder. Tora lapped up every scrap of affection Vince threw him. Mr. Balthuman did care about him, in his own way. He had raised him to be tough. A weakling wouldn’t last in this world of theirs. He had to be strong, through all the wounds, through all the fights. Tora held onto the pain. Vince had taught him how to do that.

I know, I know, I know, I know, I know  
That you're wounded  
(You know, you know, you know, you know)  
That I'm here to save you  
(You know, you know, you know, you know)  
I'm always here for you  
(I know, I know, I know, I know)  
That you'll thank me later

Tora was on a job. Vince had told him to fetch, and so he did. He dragged the man to Vince’s feet, watched detached from it all as Vince threated to cut the man’s eye out of its socket. 

Another job, this time he was told to attack. He did it viciously, bone breaking, crunching under his fists. Embracing the pain of others now, as well as his own. 

Another job, guard, this time Vince handed over his leash to Quincey as a birthday present.

Pain without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

The pain embraced him, put him to sleep at night, was always with him. 

Rather feel pain than nothing at all  
Rather feel pain


	2. Joe

Tora flipped another one of Alice’s tables. The tears coming, Fuck! He had told himself he was done with that shit. He had been taking beatings since he was a boy, it wasn’t as if this shit was new. His inner strength had snapped today though, along with his jaw. It wasn’t fair. His whole life wasn’t fucking fair. He wasn’t in that cage Balthuman had kept him in as a young boy anymore but he may as well have been. He was ensnared and he was never going to be free.

I can't escape this hell  
So many times I've tried  
But I'm still caged inside  
Somebody get me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself

Wiping his tears, Tora went out back, taking a seat on the porch. He was so angry, always so angry. He couldn’t break anymore of Alice’s shit though. He was on his last warning. Joe sat down next to him. 

“Alright. Listen up, ya little shit.” He said, grabbing him by the back of his shirt collar, “Take this money and go get that jaw looked at immediately…or else.” He threatened, shoving bills onto Tora’s lap.

“Or else what?” Tora slurred as best he could with his broken jaw.

“Or else I’ll knock all the orange outta your head and break the other jaw to even it out for ya.” Joe attempted to browbeat him, shaking him for good measure before adding, “You rude little snot.”

“Yeah, Fuck you foo,” Tora spat, the ‘you’ coming out stupid thanks to his jaw. 

“Don’t get cheeky with me, punk. Look at you, can’t even talk properly and you’re drooling all over the porch.” Joe admonished him. 

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?  
No one would ever change this animal I have become  
And help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal

“No Tora,” Joe corrected. “Don’t just swing wildly you stupid little shit. That’s how you get hurt. You need to have control.” Joe showed him the move again, pulling his punches at the last moment. “Now do it again.”

They were sparring. Joe had promised to show him how to protect himself properly. It was one thing to be able to take a punch, a whole other affair to be able to inflict damage without being injured yourself. Joe knew his rage, had felt it himself. Rage made you sloppy. 

“Again Tora.” They had been at it for hours; Tora thought he might collapse from exhaustion. His lungs were burning as he lunged again. Joe always pushed him past the breaking point, showing him over and over again that his mind could push him further, even when his body was screaming.  
Over time, his street fighting was getting better. More and more often, when he got in a scuffle he left the victor. 

I can't escape myself  
(I can't escape myself)  
So many times I've lied  
(So many times I've lied)  
But there's still rage inside  
Somebody get me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself

“One more set Tora,” Joe pushed, “You can do it son, I know you can. Bang it out!” Tora’s arms were burning but he pushed on. If Joe thought he could do it then he would. He had been right about everything else so far. 

Later that afternoon Tora stomped past Quincey who was lounging on the couch. “Well, well,” Quincey clucked at him, “someone’s looking muscly.” Aside from Tora, Quincey was the only one who knew about Joe’s teaching. “Did Joe have you flipping tires again?” Tora ignored him, heading for the shower.

Joe was teaching him control, over his body, over his mind, over his fury. Joe tried to show him how to be a better man. Tried to convince him that being part of a gang and doing shitty things didn’t mean he had to be a shitty person. 

Joe was teaching him to control his shame, to compartmentalize. What he did for Balthuman didn’t have to define him. Tora could be more, if he wanted to be. Joe didn’t get it though. Tora would always be a Balthuman dog. He had been raised as one. 

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?  
No one would ever change this animal I have become  
And we believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become  
And we believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal

Tora punched the mits, before spinning on his toes to deliver a back kick to the side of Joe’s raised hand. “Yes Tora, much better.” Joe praised him, tossing the gloves to the side; Joe waved him forward, raising his fists. “You’re ready kid, let’s do this.”

Tora looked down at the gloves, then back at his mentor. Sizing up Joe, he considered his opponent, as he had been taught. Joe was bigger than him, which meant he had to be quick. A sly grin crossed his face, as he raised his fists.

He began circling Joe, looking for an opening, his hands were raised high, leaving his midsection exposed. Tora knew it was a trap though. Throwing two quick jabs towards Joe’s face, Tora followed them with a round house kick to the thigh.

As Tora went for the kick, Joe raised his left knee and met Tora shin on shin with a resounding crack, “Nice try, but if you’re trying to distract me, you need to commit to your feints enough that your opponent doesn’t think that they’re feints.”

Tora continued to circle favouring his now bruised right shin. He switched his stance, going for a quick shot to the solar plexus, followed by a left hook to the head.  
Joe raised himself up onto his toes, forcing the shot to his stomach instead, flexing as he took the punch before effortlessly catching Tora’s left hook at the elbow.  
Tora blinked up at Joe, he was on the ground, Joe’s fist grazing his nose. “What did I tell you about hooks? Hooks are slow, if you wanna hit me. HIT ME.” Joe barked before backing away, giving Tora a moment to come to his feet. 

Joe lowered his fists this time, leaving his head exposed. Tora pounced, launching a quick kick to Joe’s knee, as Joe lifted his knee to defend, Tora retracted at the last second and fully committed himself to an attack on Joe’s smug smirk. He threw three quick punches to the head, which Joe deflected easily, before grabbing Joe’s shoulders, pulling him in for a knee to the groin. 

Twisting quickly to avoid the impact, Joe raised his right knee moving it to the left, catching Tora’s mid-thigh with it, sending pins and needles down the younger man’s leg. Tora knew he was fucked, he was wide open. Tora’s eyes flared as he saw the elbow coming towards him. Joe stopped it right before contact. “You can’t just attack without thinking about how you’re going to protect yourself. The key to a good fight, is to end it before your opponent even knows it’s begun.”

Somebody help me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself  
Somebody wake me from this nightmare  
I can't escape this hell

It took another two years before Tora could beat Joe in a sparring match, in that time though; Tora had become quicker, more controlled. More deadly. It was very rare for him to leave a street skirmish with an injury. He was quickly gaining a reputation. Other gang members had started taking to calling him 'The Tiger of Ares Street'. It was also that year that he started his sleeves. Orange koi fish swimming upstream, it represented the battles he raged, within himself and with the world he lived in. They symbolized the strength he had worked so hard to acquire. 

The next summer, Joe died, leaving Tora all alone again. At the funeral, Alice had handed him Joe’s bracelet and ring, telling him Joe would’ve wanted him to have them. That night Tora started his other sleeve, peonies, in honour of Joe. He would always be a Balthuman dog, but he would do it with all the bravery and honour afforded to him in his line of work. 

This animal, this animal, this animal  
This animal, this animal, this animal, this animal

Vince may have collared him, but Joe had unleashed and tamed him. He was still a dog, still obeyed commands. He just did it with control now.  
So what if you can see the darkest side of me?

No one will ever change this animal I have become  
And we believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become  
And we believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal  
(This animal I have become)


	3. Her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter. Enjoy.

Poppy held Tora’s hand, the two of them snuggled up on his faded couch. Her face upturned towards him. Tora was particularly grumpy today, Poppy having had to wake him from a nightmare in the early morning. She had been oddly silent about it throughout the day, as the hours passed, so too had Tora’s irritation. He knew she hadn’t let it go based on the continual worried glances she kept throwing his way though. “Will you tell me about it? Please? I want to know everything about you, the good and the bad.”

Tora chuckled darkly at that. She had no idea what she was asking. Poppy would never know everything about him, not if he could help it. He supposed he could give her enough to make her stop asking though. “Nothin’ to tell really, used to be ‘fraid of the dark as a kid. Spent a lot of time in a dark space, sometimes I dream about being back there.” That was tame enough right? Lots of kids were scared of the dark; he didn’t need to mention the cage. He wasn’t lying, not entirely; his dream had started back in that cage, that wasn’t what had him tossing and crying out though. Tora frowned. Joe’s incorporeal voice was berating him, reminding him that omission was the same thing. 

Dear pain, oh, it's been a long time  
Remember when you were holding me tied  
I would stay awake with you all night  
Dear shame, I was safe in your arms  
You were there when it all fell apart  
I would get so lost in your beautiful eyes

Tora shook his head, trying to shake Joe out of it. “I’m sorry Tora,” Poppy sympathized, placing her other hand over the one he had already enfolded in his grip. Tora gave her a small, sad smile. She was so damn beautiful, inside and out. She didn’t deserve his demons.

I let you go  
But you're still chasing

He had thought he was past this. It had been weeks since his last nightmare. He had thought the lack of night terrors was due to Poppy. Like a balm to his soul she helped chase away his dark thoughts. Replaced instead by visions of her and the many thoughtful things she did for no reason.

Go ahead, you're never gonna take me  
You can bend, but you're never gonna break me  
I was yours, I'm not yours anymore  
Oh, you don't own me

He didn’t belong to his pain anymore, his shame, instead he found comfort in the solace of her smile. He wanted to belong to her now. He wanted happiness, he wanted, he hoped for…love. He had never had love. Mentorship and compassion and friendship sure but love was entirely foreign to him. All he had ever known was hate and violence.

Dear hate, I know you're not far  
You would wait at the door of my heart  
I was amazed at the passion in your cries  
Dear anger, you make me so high  
You were faithful to show up on time  
Such a flame that was burning in your eyes

“Hey Tora, you don’t need to be afraid of the dark anymore. I’ll get a nightlight for you. Actually I’ll get two. Then you’ll have one at my place and one for here,” Poppy suggested, beaming up at him, “then you’ll never have to wake up in the dark again.”  
Tora crushed her to him, she was so damn sweet, if only, he thought, keeping his demons away were as simple at buying a nightlight. 

I let you go  
But you're still chasing

“Thanks sweetheart but I’m good. The dark don’t scare me no more.” I practically live in it, he finished in his head. Tora had long ago become his own monster lurking in the shadows. It wouldn’t overtake him though. He didn’t belong to the beast inside anymore. 

Go ahead, you're never gonna take me  
You can bend, but you're never gonna break me  
I was yours, I'm not yours anymore  
Oh, you don't own me  
Go ahead, put a target on my forehead  
You can fire, but you got no bullets  
I was yours, I'm not yours anymore  
Oh, you don't own me

“Ok, big, tough guy,” Poppy teased, poking him in the side, “you’re not afraid, you’re not afraid of anything. I’m still buying the nightlights. Not for you though,” she assured him, “for me so I can get to the bathroom without stubbing my toes. Cause, you don’t’ need them.” She winked playfully at him.

Tora raised his eyebrows at her, her voice had dripped with sarcasm. He didn’t need a fucking night light but she had hit a nerve. He was afraid of something. He was afraid of what would become of him if she ever woke up and took her light away from him, took her smile from him. 

Poppy didn’t like the dark look that settled over his features, “I’m just teasing, I just want you to be happy Tora.” She reminded him, snuggling in closer, “I won’t buy them if you really don’t want me to.”

It's tempting me to look back  
But everything that we had together was a lie

He smiled down at the top of her head, buried in his chest. Everything Joe had taught him had paid off. He’d shown restraint with her and had been rewarded richly. This feeling she gave him was so much more powerful than the pain, the rage, the shame, the emptiness, the hate, and it consumed him wholly leaving no room for them anymore.

Go ahead, you're never gonna take me  
You can bend, but you're never gonna break me  
I was yours, I'm not yours anymore  
Oh, you don't own me  
Go ahead, put a target on my forehead  
You can fire, but you got no bullets  
I was yours, I'm not yours anymore  
Oh, you don't own me


End file.
